Get the Fuck over your Guilt

I had to call out of work at my part-time job yesterday because of a lingering gross chest cold, and I felt guilty as hell about it.

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I work part-time as a paraprofessional/aide for a student with cognitive impairment at the local high school. It’s a job I REALLY dig, and even on the craziest of days I have a damn good time hanging with these kids and the rest of the staff.

So understandably, I felt a little guilty for not being able to support them yesterday. But really when I think about it, I’ve felt this massive guilt about ANY and ALL jobs I’ve had to call out of, even for a super legitimate reason. Even if I knew they’d be 100% ok without me. Even if it was a crappy high school retail job I really didn’t give a shit about.

This is a topic that has come up in my free support group Radical Self-Care for Badass Babes as well, so I decided to dig a little deeper into my own personal reasons for this uncalled for guilt. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. I am worried I'm letting people down
  2. I care a hell of a lot about what other people think of me
  3. I associate my self-worth with my performance and abilities (at work and otherwise)

And when I can take a step back and look at these statements objectively, I know that they are 100% unfounded, and really, don’t they fucking matter.

You’re not going to be able to help everyone every second of the day.

You’re never going to make everyone happy all the time. Not everyone is going to like you.

Your self worth doesn’t have a damn thing to do with your job, how good you are at it, or any of your abilities.

Next time you’re wondering if you should call out or not, remember that you have to put your needs first in order to serve anyone else. And that it’s totally ok and acceptable to take the time you need to get healthy, whether it’s a physical sick day or a mental health day. And if they’re gonna give you a hard time, they can go fuck themselves - legally, you have to be allowed to take sick days ;)