How to Move from Struggle to Self-Love

From the time I was a kid, I’ve attached myself to the idea of ‘struggle’ and ‘hard work.’  The idea that good things, praise, comfort, happiness etc, could only be achieved through disciplined, intense, structured work.  In my mind, when I wasn’t working (aka struggling), I wasn’t useful or worthy of praise. 

Even though I know this is not true, it’s a narrative that’s hard to stop clinging too.  Society constantly tells us that the only way to “make it” is to be over worked and exhausted.  It’s difficult to break out of the habit of struggle.

Now, I don’t mean to say that we shouldn’t feel our feelings.  Sometimes, shit happens in our lives that really just sucks.  And when that happens, I find it important and necessary to allow ourselves to feel what ever comes up: overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety etc, in order to have any healing occur.

What I’m referring to in particular is the need to feel that you have to earn love, praise, happiness, rest, or comfort.  That we have to struggle for these things in order to make them happen.  Sometimes, sure, you really do need to work your ass off to get some shit done, and I’m all about that.  But the issue is that at the end of the day, no matter how much work we get done, many of us feel dissatisfied with ourselves, because our to-do lists are ever growing.  And that’s the issue right there.  

You can work hard without struggling emotionally. 

I think many of us get stuck in the feelings of guilt when good things do come our way since maybe we didn’t ‘work hard enough for it.”  That if something’s feels effortless, than I clearly don’t deserve it. 

We gotta knock that shit out.

I am good enough

You are good enough.

And no matter how much or how little you got done today, you deserve a break at the end of the day.

I think the struggle mentality frequently creates a block for me.  I don’t let abundance flow when I’m feeling cramped up, hunched over, and stressed out.

Enter self-care.

Or really, self-love (they are the same thing)

Have you heard of Mirror Work?  It’s a term Louise Hay coined for this awesomely simple yet effective self-love exercise.  For the next week, every time you pass a mirror, look yourself in the eye and say “I love you”  Use your name too.  Not gonna lie, it will probably feel stupid and silly at first.  Or maybe it will feel emotional and difficult to do.  Notice what comes up for you, and allow yourself to really feel what happens.

And even if you don’t mean it at first, it’s sort of a “fake it till you make it” deal.

Give that a try.  You deserve to hear it.  See this week, take some time to notice where else struggle comes up in your life, and then let that shit go <3